Today, as I was doing my early morning Ubering/Coaching around, I picked up a gentleman from the airport. As he got into the car he said, “I hope you don’t mind that I’m on the phone.” I replied, “Not at all. It’s your time.” He went from one call to another, relaying story after story, stretching the truth within each call and each story. I would describe him as almost charming as he manipulated his conversations on the phone. On his last call prior to the end of the ride, he was speaking with a female; flirting with the female, talking about her nap, etc., etc. When he hung up, he asked me some questions about where I was from, and I then asked him where he was from. He replied, “My wife and I have been in Colorado now for almost 20 years, but I’m originally from Mobile, AL.”
Now, it would be easy for me to make a judgment call about this gentleman, but I decided to go another route. I watched him walk up to his white house with the black iron fence around it in a very prestigious neighborhood, and I made a conscious effort to shift what I was thinking to myself. Why did listening to his conversations bother me? Why was I feeling sort of nauseated and sick to my stomach? What was this gentleman triggering in me? I started processing the answers on my drive home, and it hit me. This had been MY life. I had been exposed to that wheeler/dealer mentality when I was in sales, and while I had always done business with my integrity and morals intact, I saw a lot of things that others did that didn’t agree with me. I took these things to heart and kept on with my career to earn a living. I put blinders on.
Anyway, today in the car, that wheeler/dealer gentleman brought all that back to me. I thought I had moved away from a plethora of feelings associated with my life in medical sales, but there are still some things that need to be addressed, forgiven, and healed. We often forget that this life is a journey without a destination. It’s 2 steps forward, only to go 5 back. And, that’s okay. When we develop a keen sense of self-awareness, we can experience the emotions and then set the ones free that aren’t serving us. I’m setting lots of feelings free today, and I’m excited about this! I know that when I do this, it unclogs my heart and creates a path for wonderful feelings and experiences to find their way in. Today, I choose to forgive myself for wearing blinders. For I know that when I let go, I let love.
And speaking of hearts, peace, and love to all you wonderful hearts out there! Namaste.
Fran Winslow 